What It Isn't
by BabyJane14
Summary: He hadn't seen it being the way it was. Yet somehow it had turned out this way and he wasn't quite sure he liked it... no, he was sure he resented it.
1. Chapter 1

**Manda's Note**: I need to remind myself that its not good to fall asleep with headphone in my ears. Why? well because plot bunnies have field days with my brain. they invade and fester and I'm appearently just to damn nice to kill them and turn them away. This has a major plot line and some one you might be able to see it already I'm sure I can trust you to leave me your ideas and guesses. You know me, I hate handing these things in as short as it is but I'm going out for the next few hours and I just wanted to motivate your brains. Major Plot line will be gotten into soon. in the mean time I will be adding to my PS playlist so god knows what will come out of that. - as you can tell i'm rambling I apologize. ANYWAYS yea... leave me your thoughts. You know I love them **Enjoy**!

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"Well I'm certainly not going to say that I'm in love with the idea of you going to Las Vegas with them I do know that you've grown up since your high school days. You wouldn't be stupid enough to actually do anything there when you have everything you want here. Don't you Noah."

Leaning down he gave his blonde fiancée a kiss on the cheek before standing back up and running a hand over his neatly shaven Mohawk, a necessity for boys weekend. The old Glee crew was going all out, twenty-four years old and the second one of them was getting married. How was it not something to celebrate? The one of them that probably hadn't been laid since back in sophomore year, it was about damn time. Stepping back he moved closer to Finn and clapped a hand on his back.

"Don't worry Q, there will be no going back to what was. I promised you that how many years ago now?"

He hadn't seen the slightly shorter and much more kiddish blonde till he'd popped up in front of him in Quinn's face with the playful kissy face.

"Whatever you say Quinny"

Wrapping his arm around Sam's neck jokingly choking him he dragged him back a little ways from the ex girlfriend he still at some points had to guess that Sam hadn't really gotten over. Didn't matter to him really, Sam had been his protégée from the moment he'd stepped into McKinley. He'd been intrigued by Sam Evens's spit fire from the first time he'd seen him. That comment about balls was one that Sam hadn't ever let him live down. Sometimes Puck actually wished he had an actual tennis ball to shove down Sam's throat just to shut him up.

"Ok Horten get in the car …Dude you sure you're even old enough to get into the casinos?"

Puck really needed to learn to watch the things he said, he could see Finn standing there counting on his fingers… at least trying to count anyway. Putting his hand over his eyes he shook his head and glared.

"Hudson don't be an idiot. He's the same age as us. Just get in the damn car."

Still looking dumb founded Puck watched as Sam grabbed the back of Finn's shirt and dragged him to the BMW parked in the driveway with the slightly impatient driver behind the wheel. God forbid they pull the pediatrician away from his practice for a weekend to hang out with the boys. He acted like it was the end of the world. He'd be home with his girlfriend and year old son before he knew it. Chang always had to be the family man.

"Don't let Kurt redecorate my whole house."

He pointed to the blonde in the doorway of the just recently mortgaged house before she turned and shut the door behind her and he was free, something that he hadn't felt in a very long time. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt like himself. The moment he was in the car the first thing he did was shut off Mike's shitty oldies station and jam in one of his own rock CD's because really… who wanted to re live the years of glee club anyway? Cranking up the volume as loud as it could go he sat back in his seat and closed his eyes allowing the music to wash over him without a complaint from the other three in the car.

"Alright guys… first part of Finn's bachelor party… because I can't wait any longer…"

He'd turned the music down and leaned over to the front seat causing Puck to lower his glare at the blonde who still had that ridiculous hair cut, he was so stuck in the life that had been six years ago. Then again some people just never grew out of being a kid. Sam was one of those people.

"My uncle pulled some string …theses are for tomorrow night."

Snatching the paper tickets out of Sam's hand he read them figuring they were to one of those flamboyant shows with the women in feathered headdresses. Yet, the moment he read over the tickets his mouth dropped open. Sapphire gentlemen's club… Las Vegas' largest strip club with VIP services, exactly what Puck had in mind and more. It wasn't like he'd seen the likes of a good 'show' since _**she'd**_ left. With the fleeting thought of her a shutter wrecked through him and he clenched an angry fist for a moment before letting himself relax and look over the tickets in his hand again.

"Nice work Horton …I've taught you well haven't I?"

The twelve year old twenty-three year old was giddy with the complement we he watched Puck put the tickets into the glove compartment of the car. The smirk that Sam had taken so many years to perfect still slowly faded into a smile. Damn big mouthed kid was always smiling. Finn's reaction to them was to be bewildered, Mike's was to groan. Of course, speculation was that Finn hardly knew what strippers meant and Mike was all set he was with Brittany saving up the money to make her the perfect princess wedding that they'd been planning for years. Puck on the other hand had been in a permanent relationship with Quinn for close to five years. At least on the outside it seemed permanent. To everyone that wasn't Puck or Quinn the whole thing had the hinge of one sided settling.

"So we've got the Grand Lakeview suit at Bellagio hotel for Friday night and Saturday night. Leaving now we should be there around one or two tomorrow morning or so."

Mike said looking up from the GPS to the other three guys in the car not paying the slightest bit of attention to him. sometimes it didn't pay off to be the brain in the car. Fifteen minutes into the drive with all joking aside two of the boys in the back seat were already sound asleep. Leaving only himself and Puck awake, an awkward silence settled between them. Two boys who hadn't really been alone together completely since _**it'd**_ happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Manda's Note**: SO let me just say that I think that I have a new friendship that I absoultly love! so the story is slowly being filled in piece by peice so remember to tell me your thoughts on it! You know by now how much it means to me. Flashback is in italics and yea that's about all I have to say. so **Enjoy **kay? then... remember to review!

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"How's the road buddy?"

Oh no not again, he was hoping Sam would have stayed asleep for more than a half hour this time. no such luck, Horton Hears a Who was wide awake and rearing to go again. the last time Sam had been awake he'd put on Will Smith's 90's hit 'Getting Jiggy With It' and sang it full blast. how the hell Finn and Mike had slept through that Puck didn't understand. It wasn't like Sam was exactly a quiet belter. When he was intoxicated and comfortable with something it was even worse. Puck wasn't even the one who had learned that the hard way. There was one person who'd gotten that memo that Sam Evens was a light hearted kid on the inside as well as on the outside.

_"I hopped off the plane at LAX ith a dream in my car again. Welcome to the land of fame success…"_

_Sam started to rattle off trying to break the tension till the hand was tightly clapped over his mouth signifying for him to shut up. Which he did abruptly. it probably wasn't polite to piss off the female who'd just taken his virginity in the twin bed of his home on top of his Lion King sheets. Oddly enough the sandy haired seventeen year old kid wasn't the least bit bothered by it. He'd even tried to pull her into his arms afterwards, something she'd refused of course. But he'd been a gentleman and tried, he had to have scored some points for that one._

_"How do you even know that song? You're not even singing the right words."_

_She complained in a voice that sounded less than amused as she slowly let up on his mouth still a little worried that he'd start to sing out the Miley song again when she did so. He didn't though, instead he looked at her with the goofy smile cross the lips that covered a majority of his face._

_"I have a little sister, blasts that stuff all the time. It gets stuck in your head after a while. How do you know the right words? Is it one of your cheer warm-ups?"_

_She hadn't seen it before, the innocence that reeked from every bit of him. As he talked it made her feel a little bit guilty and less ticked off that he was still talking. She'd done it to piss Quinn off, she'd done it because the blonde slut had the nerve to ask Puck to senior year homecoming, like she had it all planned out that she was going to win the title of homecoming queen. Everyone knew that senior year that went to the hottest cheerleader, something that obviously belonged to her. So she'd screwed Quinn's ex boyfriend for sport. Wasn't like she was tied down in a committed relationship, she refused to be in something like that. It was senior year after all._

_"I… uh… Puck has a little sister"_

_Sitting up then he watched her clutch his blue and orange quilt to her chest keeping herself a little covered from view. That didn't matter to him anyway, he wasn't the one who was going to stare and make her uncomfortable. He was raised better than that. Instead he tried to hold the eye contact with her that she kept trying to shy away from._

_"You two are really close huh?"_

_As she finally raised her eyes to his he caught her in one of his looks that for some reason seemed to ease the mind and for some reason as she leaned over the side of the bed she picked up his shirt to slip into and cover herself up with before she laid right back down rather than getting up, slipping into her cheerios uniform and slipping out the same door that she'd come in from._

_"What would make you say that?"_

_Lying on her side she looked at him, a bland yet somewhat new expression on her face. She suddenly looked much calmer than she had been to start off with. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at the two weeks short of eighteen year old beauty as he rolled onto his own side to be face to face with her. His bright blue eyes studying her deep chocolate colored ones._

_"The look you both get in your eyes when you say one another's names. Regardless of the situation it's always like you're speaking your own language that the outside world doesn't understand. He does the same thing whenever someone mentions your name. He's a little worse at playing the game than you are though."_

_For some reason he knew just the way to put a smirk on her face, telling her that she was better at games than Puck was. Yet with the next sentence out of his mouth he'd diminished the entire thing._

_"You love him don't you?"_

_It was a sentence that made her shut her eyes for a moment. For some reason though it was the childlike look at he was staring at her with, like Puck's little sister did when she wanted to play a game. That was the look at compelled her to be honest for reasons she couldn't quite put her finger on._

_"Yea… I do"_

_She wasn't used to expressing her own honesty and it scared her to let the words slip from her lips quite as easy as they had. Then again, after eighteen years how could she not have loved him? It was just the whole aspect of admitting it out loud to someone who wasn't solely her own self conscious._

_"You should tell him that."_

Sam had zoned out looking out the window and he wasn't sure why. He didn't know why every once and a while the memory came to him, it was just something that happened when he was close to Puck. Maybe because he had so many questions about why the girl he'd gotten so friend wise close to had just up and left one day. Strange as it sounded considering the way they'd truly met he'd begun after that to look up to Santana like the elder sister he didn't have. Yet it had been days before graduation that she'd been gone without so much as a goodbye. Something that had hurt him more than he'd expressed to anyone about of course.


	3. Chapter 3

**Manda's Note**_: _So I'm pretty sure I just like to torture you guys. it's another pretty short chapter starting out with a flashback and slipping into present time. Can't wait till you guys start forming guesses (more than some people have) there's so much of the story still to come out and surprise you! so leave me your thoughts and **enjoy**! the chapter.

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Sometimes his innocence killed her. Standing in his bedroom doorway after Mrs. Evans had let her in she had to smile at him. There he was, sitting in the middle of his hard wood floor on the small football throw rug folding up paper air planes and throwing them at his wastebasket. Sometimes seeing him in his normal state made her feel guilty for taking his virginity, regardless if he was seventeen years old. Had she known anything about his innocence then she probably wouldn't have done it the way she had. Yet, he'd been good about it, much better than Finn had been anyway. at least he hadn't gone off on a tangent on how he'd wanted to lose it to someone else and how it meant nothing. Instead they'd talked about Puck and football and why they were who they were. Not exactly the most normal way of starting a friendship but then again she was Santana and she never did anything normal.

_"How long you been standing there?"_

_He tilted his head with a smile as he looked up at her, before she could even open her mouth though Sam jumped to his feet like he'd forgotten his Adderall and rushed to his bed to pull something or other out. She should have noticed the happy birthday balloon in the corner of the room. It was there attached to a red birthday bag. She'd told him not to get her anything, it didn't really surprise her that he hadn't listened. In the past two weeks the oversized kid hardly listened to anything she said or demanded of him, he'd defied every single one of the cheerios orders and she hadn't even called for his death …yet. _

_"Happy Birthday! …Well belated birthday anyway, where were you yesterday?"_

_Walking forward he kissed her cheek and she hugged him back. She wasn't used to having anyone other than Mike or Brittany to be close to, Sam was refreshing and different. _

_"You and Puck were both… ohh"_

_He nodded as she fixed the collar of thee turtleneck she had on under her cheerios top with her classic smirk. Didn't take too much for him to understand exactly what she meant by it. _

_"Yeaaaa…. your words made sense and I had the best eighteenth birthday I could of asked for."_

_She gushed and walked to his bed to sit down. She was such a different Santana when she was happy he was learning that slowly, not that he'd known the girl very well before she'd taken his virginity or anything. She'd been just a demanding bitch before, who back a year ago, didn't believe that he had abs of steal. _

_"Sex all day long? Right up the both of your alleys." _

_Laughing a little he laid down next to her as she shook her head and took the chain of her cheerleader charm necklace out from under her turtleneck. _

_"You've got a lot to learn about sex little lion"_

_Nudging his shoulder he leaned up on his forearms to get a better look of the object she was showing him. The Aquamarine gemstone stood out against the platinum band it was set into catching the light of the autumn sun and making crystallized rainbows sparkle around the room like shattered glass among winter snow. _

_"This was Puck's Nana Connie's ring… her father gave it to her mother before he went to fight in WW2, when Nana Connie was old enough her mother passed it down to her and she for some reason skipped Jane and gave it to Puck. It's not an engagement ring its jus …my ring." _

_As simple as it didn't sound she said it and he knew better than to actually question her. Not that he would have done of course. From what he'd been able to get from their talking and from seeing them for their private moments in action. _

_"Well it's about damn time, I've had had a year of both of your complaining."_

_Like a little kid over excited he started to pull the tissue paper out of the bag till he reached the item in the bag. As he pulled it out she started to laugh, the stuffed Simba was exactly how he was to her. It was just an added bonus when he squeezed the paw and 'I Just Can't Wait to be King' sang out in the Disney movie's original tune. Taking it from his hand she squeezed it in a hug to her chest. _

_"You tell anyone… any of this and I promise… I will ruin you."_

_As she attempted to say it in a stern Cheerio voice he could hear the underlying smile to it. besides, no one would of believed him if he'd tried as it was. Santana Lopez was too feared for that one._

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"I hate leaving them. I'm not used to looking in the backseat and not seeing his carseat"

They'd stopped at the gas station to fill up once again. Finn and Sam were still lost somewhere inside of the connivance store, like little children they'd fled from the car the moment Mike had asked if they were hungry. Not a real surprise of course. It was two in the morning, time for a gas break, leaving Mike and Puck alone outside. An uncomfortable silence had settled between the two of them. At one point in the he'd of done anything just for a clean shot to Mike's face, after what he'd done a week before graduation he felt like Mike deserved it. They'd pretty much gotten passed it though. He'd been at Mike's graduation, he'd been the first one Brittany had called when Mike had proposed, and he was Milo's godfather. they didn't have much other choice but to get along.

"Forget what it's like not to be a father Chang?"

Their conversation suddenly became silent, not a subject that either of them really wanted to touch on together. The sensitivity to the things that had occurred was still there. The uncomfortable moment seemed to pass quickly though, Puck wasn't signed in to linger on the bad, they were going to have a good weekend. He cleared his throat determined to snap out of the silence that had taken place.

"What would pigtails have to say about you going to a strip club?"

Knowing Mike he'd already texted both Brittany and his mother asking permission to go. By the smile on his face he'd known that Mike had done exactly at least half of that. It wasn't surprising of course, Mike had always been the one of them to ask permission for everything he did. He'd been teased about it relentlessly and yet he hadn't once changed his behaviors. That was one of the things that made Mike himself. Chang had always been faithful to those he cared about, to bad sometimes his faithful tendencies led to misunderstandings and trouble.

"She said that she and my mother would be taking Milo out for dinner and shopping. She knows that I won't do what you have every intention of doing. Don't try to deny it Puckerman, I know you better than that."

Puck didn't make the slightest moves to confirm or deny it, the mental affairs were just as bad as physical ones and on a daily basis he fought with himself to look at Quinn for who she was rather than who he wanted her to be. He was pretty sure his mind would never be completely faithful, there would always be a part of him who could conjure up the feeling of waking up beside **her** first thing in the morning.

"She does the same thing Mike… if she's gonna cheat on me I'm gonna do the same thing right back to her. She's no friggen saint like she wants everyone to think she is."


	4. Chapter 4

Manda's Note: I hostly have to say this is one of my FAVORITE stories and I hope you stick with it to understand whats going on. This was awesome to write and I know that its going to continue to be awesome. I'd love to hear your thoughts and guesses. ENJOY!

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_"Shelby made the offer for an open adoption and I'm taking it. She and I both agreed that it would be beneficial to Beth if you'd do the same thing. You said you wanted to know your daughter Puck and this is your chance. Do the right thing… be in her life."_

_It had been a year and a half since he'd set his mind on being in the child's life. A year and a half since she'd been born on the late regional's afternoon. He'd grown up and accepted the fact that they'd given her up. He'd moved on with his life in that time too. He had a girlfriend across the room leaning over Sam Evans's back to see the sheet music in his hands. zoning out of Quinn's words he couldn't get his eyes off of her, the way her cheerios skirt just barely covered the red spandex underneath with the way she was leaning. That was what he'd moved onto, he'd moved on to telling everyone at McKinley she was his and no one else's. She was the one to give him the ultimatum of either having all of her or none of her because she was sick and tired of their sick games. Kissing her through her worked up anger that day was something he was positive he'd never ever regret._

_"Puck come on, I'm asking you a serious question here."_

_She finally started to whine about him not paying her any attention and he slipped back into the present and what she'd asked him. Sure, he'd seen photos of the little girl with the dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, he'd seen photos in Rachel's locker sent by her estranged mother. It was bizarre to think that in some messed up way he was sort of the father of Rachel's sort of baby sister. Thinking the whole thing out that way made his head hurt, there was too much confusion and drama right in the middle of it all. He liked his simple life._

_"I signed my rights to her away Quinn. You decided we were giving her up. I've moved past that Quinn. We can't go back to that, it would hurt too much to try. The adoption was closed for a reason. So that we could all move forward with our lives. Moving forward doesn't mean holding the past in front of our faces. Just let it go… we gave Beth up."_

_Of course there was part of him that thought about his daughter every day, numerous times a day. How could he not? He'd helped in creating her, in giving her a life. But, he'd also helped in giving her a home with a parent who could financially and emotionally take care of her better than he and Quinn could have at their ages. It'd freed him to move on with his life and find what he really wanted. He wasn't about to change any of it._

_"I can't believe you… after how much you complained about giving her up you're more than willing to pretend like she never happened? What? Does your girlfriend not approve of the fact that you have a child? Get it through your head Puck, you knocked me up and we had a child, a child who's now nineteen months old, a child that we were offered to get to know."_

_His eyes were still glued across the room, watching her throw her head back in one of her full of life sounding laughs. Sure, part of him was worried that if he ever decided that he did want to know Beth she'd be out of the picture faster than he could say sorry. Beth had been the biggest betrayal of her life and he knew that. But, his decision wasn't solely on how Santana would react. It was more along the lines that he didn't feel like opening his heart up to something like that only to watch it be crushed again. Puck knew he wasn't strong enough to watch his daughter with someone else for a parent. he could see the pictures he could once and a while hear the stories but it was just to painful the thought of having it right there in his face day after day._

_"Think about it Quinn, she's got a life that we couldn't have given her. We don't need to go butting in there. We were sixteen and stupid and now Beth has a place that she actually belongs. She has a family, we're not part of that. Just be thankful that you know she's in a good place and just drop it damnit Quinn."_

_Puck was beginning to lose his patients, not that it wasn't justified, she'd been on the same idea since the beginning of November when she'd suggested approaching Shelby for it in the first place. He'd told her that it wasn't a good idea, now, six weeks later he wasn't about to change his mind. It wasn't like the whole thing was an easy decision but he'd already made it over a year and a half before._

_"I can't believe you'd dare to pick her over your own daughter. Real nice to see where your priorities lie."_

_As his last nerve cracked he flung his hand at the chair next to him till it went back and hit the wall with a cracking sound causing everyone in the glee room to turn around and set their eyes on the commotion in the corner. Even Shue turned to see what was going on. Puck didn't care to meet any eyes or look at anymore. he just shook his head, grabbed for his coat and Santana's keys and left the room knowing quite well those he wanted to follow him would follow and the rest would stay behind to gossip on what the latest drama was. Because that was what Glee club was good for. God forbid they all concentrate on something like actually taking sectionals and nationals._

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"I told you Cass I don't work like that"

With her cell phone leaning on her shoulder and her head tilted so that she could almost hear the girl she'd worked with since she was eighteen over the sound of herself throwing clothes into the washing machine and whatever tacky children's program she'd turned the television to. It was a busy afternoon and the hours were running short to the time she had to work. She could almost remember the days when she didn't rush around so much before work, the days when she had time for herself. She'd kissed those away the day she watched him pour back drink after drink till he hardly knew his name though. At the time it'd seemed like a good idea at least.

"I'll dance for them in almost nothing, I'll take my top off… I'm not sleeping with them for cash."

Slamming down the cover of the washing machine she held the phone to her ear instead and rolled her eyes at the white wall in front of her. Of course she'd been approached for it, with her body she'd been offered many times. Each time had come with its own 'get the fuck away from me' comment. Working at a place like where she had for the past years she was always asked, yet, her response to it never changed. If anything her no had only become more vicious sounding through the years.

"no… no I don't care about the money. Cassidy I don't strip to make myself happy, I do it to keep food on the table, to afford my apartment and I do it for Joe, without Joe I wouldn't have my apartment to begin with. He put me up when I had nothing."

She was getting angrier by the second, she'd already said no to it more times then she could count, she didn't want to hear about it anymore. Leaving the tiny room brought her straight into the kitchen where she could see her reason for everything calmly sucking away at a pacifier as little eyes got heaver and heaver. Perfect, she'd be asleep when the babysitter got there. It wouldn't be another night of replying her guilt in her head over leaving the baby screaming in the arms of someone she'd only known for a few weeks.

"Damn it Cassidy I said no. That's prostitution. I don't do that."

Ending her conversation early she took the phone away from her ear and threw it into the wall till it smashed against the wall. She was only happy when she saw the battery separate from the rest of the body of the phone. She hadn't thought about the other consequence of it, the seven month old she'd startled. A soft snicker of cries began to come from the little girl who'd been almost asleep in her bouncy seat.

Muttering under her breath in Spanish at herself she picked the little girl up and cradled her a little bit, kissing her forehead and trying to ease her back into the sleep she'd been in before her mother decided to lose her temper at absolutely nothing. The child with her mother's stubborn and possessive attitude and her father's hazel eyes stared right back at her with every bit of defiance as if mocking the fact that she'd had her cat nap and she wasn't about to cooperate with the wishes of her mother again.

For being told six years ago that one day she'd suck at being a parent she didn't think she was doing so bad. Her little girl had turned into her entire world the day the stick turned pink. Sixteen months ago she'd made the conscious decision to approach him knowing fair well that on the anniversary of the tragedy he'd be completely unreasonably drunk. She'd been the one to decide that she needed more than to just hear his voice ask her what the hell she was doing there. Of course the guilt from what had taken place six years ago was still there, it hung over her head day after day. There was only so much apologizing she could do, only so much guilt she could feel for something that had taken place that was under no tenses her entire fault.

"Come on baby… mama's gotta go to work."

She whispered and rocked, her mind sliding back to the fact that she only had hours till the random males were commenting on how good she looked. At one point in time things like that had made her feel good. Knowing that someone appreciated what she'd worked so hard on. now, it was just a job and their compliments were just drunken expressions when they couldn't get a girlfriend or any other lay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Manda's Note**: Thanks for sticking with it guys, right around the corner from a meeting and a real explination as to why things went the way they did! so... review? leave me your guesses some more ;)

Melissa – Thank you! its meant to be a little confusing, slowly the whole backstory is coming on. just go with it, you'll understand the full thing soon enough.

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"How much did you pay for the dress anyway?"

Glancing over at the red drenched fabric poolside she smirked and took his hand letting him help her out of the pool once he'd wrapped the towel around his waist. Once she was completely out of the water he did his typical routine of looking her over till she rolled her eyes and grabbed the towel out of his hands. She'd never been so relieved that the house was so set back from all other properties. She was pretty sure between noise control and nudity they'd have a little bit of explaining to do. But there was no one around for that to matter anyway.

"Um... six hundred and fifty dollars? My mom left me eight hundred for it in her letter for my senior year"'

Even talking about her long since dead mother couldn't make her bliss faultier. The letter she spoke of was one Gabriella Lopez had left for her only child to open on the morning of her senior year of high school. It included money to insure that Santana had a better prom than Gabby herself had had. She'd put it to good use on the sexy red tight dress with the massive slit up the thigh. For some reason though, the slit was in the wrong spot for Puck, he'd managed to break the silky material to adjust to his needs. That had only been the beginning of destroying the dress. The fact that he'd discovered that she'd had nothing underneath it was just an added plus for him.

"Worth it though wasn't it?"

He kissed the spot on her neck that made her nearly forget her name and she lifted her head to continue the kiss. They'd started out at prom. Spent the beginning of the night taking pictures and getting in trouble for attempting to spike the punch, then, dinner had started. His hands hadn't left the slit in her dress, climbing up and teasing till she couldn't handle telling him no anymore. She'd yelled at him to shut up and drive and he'd known exactly where to spend their prom night. The weekend earlier he'd spent filling the in ground pool in what had been Nana Connie's backyard before she'd passed away. She'd had her mortgage all paid off, the house a family heirloom of sorts that she'd left to Puck for the day he tied the knot. Throughout the years he and Santana had taken their fair share of advantages of the property.

"You're an ass"

With a smirk at her words he nodded his head and pulled her down to lay next to him in the freshly cut grass. Her right hand between both of his has he pressed a kiss to her hand right under the ring. Senior year had been a whirlwind of faithfulness. They hadn't strayed once from their relationship. Even when the acceptance letters had come in. given, they were both accepted in California and as an added bonus she was getting to bring her Sam of a pet with them too. Them being nearly inseparable was oddly something Puck didn't mind all that much. So long as he knew he was the one with better abs of course.

"You know… one day I'm gonna move that ring to your left hand."

A brave venture into the world of the future, things that they'd never really touched to talk about before. It was a big step to even think about there being more than just a tomorrow. But he was doing it, he was the one who brought it up after all. For the first time in either one of their lives his announcement didn't make her feel the intense urge to run away as fast as she could. Instead it made her put her head on his shoulder and look at the ring too.

"Who says I'd say yes to you?"

Sometimes he was so full of himself and sometimes she did things just to get a rise out of him but they both knew at the back of their minds buried way down deep that things would one day turn all around. That their games would completely crumble and they'd be almost a normal couple with a dog and a few kids. They'd already started and she wasn't willing to let them go any further just yet, she still liked having her freedom.

"Because you couldn't live without me"

She smirked and looked straight ahead of them up into the starry night sky as he spoke. Had someone told her sophomore year that senior year would of turned out exactly the way she'd wanted it to she'd of laughed in their faces. Back in the time of the Quinn drama she hadn't thought that she'd ever be where she was now. She hadn't ever expected to be able to lay in his arms and have everything around her be what they always should have been. Now that she had it though it wasn't something that she was planning on letting go. She'd worked far to hard to get to the place that they were in.

"That's what you think Puckerman and I'm gonna let you believe that."

She said her I love you's during the day and night there wasn't any reason to rub it in and make him think that she actually really meant it every time. She doesn't mean it every time, there are times where she'd just rather strangle him and get her aggressions out. Like in the morning when she remembers how much she'd fallen in love with her prom dress before he'd completely and totally destroyed it to shreds. She already knows that's the next time that she'll want to kill him, also something that will be more than likely wiped away with a few kisses. Puck had always seemed to be able to get away with things with just a couple of kisses. She'd hate herself for being so weak if he wasn't the same way with her.

* * *

"Sorry Joe I got here soon as I could. Couldn't get the baby to stop crying long enough to leave"

Taking off her coat and tossing it on the side of one of the mirrors she single handedly fixed her hair with one hand and brushed herself with shimmer powder with the other. He was always good when she was running late, something that he'd had to get quite used to a lot now. Any other employer would have complained about her constant being late, yet, that wasn't who Joe was. Joe and his wife were the people who'd stopped by the hospital on the night the baby was born, they'd even been the ones to set up and buy stuff for the small nursery. They'd been almost like surrogate parents to Santana herself.

"I told you to take the night off if you needed it"

The older man said as he checked things off on a clip board and didn't look up at her. He didn't have to look up to know it was her. He knew the young girl he'd found packing up his late daughter's things from their shared dorm room almost like she was his own daughter. It was strange how fate worked, he'd been so rude and callous to the girl who'd tried to save his daughter's life till she'd walked in looking for a job. that had been when he'd seen her as the child he'd lost all too soon to a vicious cycle of depression.

"I've taken enough nights off, you and Sandra need to stop paying me when I don't show up. You've done enough for me. I told you I came out here to be independent that's still my goal. Didn't change because I unexpectedly got knocked up."

He should have been used o the woah is me act she put on day after day. She'd attempted to pay them back for the entire nursery they'd created before she'd gotten out of the hospital. It wasn't like they were going to let her take the child home to the small crib and nothing else that she'd had prepped for the baby to come home to. She was used to them going behind her back and defying the things she said. It wasn't like it was any different from where she'd always grown up, no matter how much she'd strived for everyone to listen that wasn't the way people reacted. She'd learned early on that nothing went the way you wanted it to.

"Whatever you say sweetheart. Just remember Sandra is making dinner tomorrow night, She's making a while five course meal and she's expecting you to be there with that baby… don't disappoint her ok?"

Giving a final nod of the head before walking away from him and slipping out of the curtain into the bright lights and loud noises she attempted to pull herself into her own little world like she was so good at doing most nights. She liked the noise and the beat, part of it reminded her of being up on the stage for all the different sectionals, regional's, and nationals she'd been to for both Glee club and Cheerios. If she really wanted to some nights she could shut her eyes and pretend she was back there, pretend she was that teenager without a care in the world again. She could pretend she wasn't grasping at straws to say she was happy with the life that she had.

With her eyes shut breathing to herself and trying to find her medium before her night started she never saw anything only felt the tug on her ring around her neck. Her necklace was one of the few things no one besides herself was ever allowed to touch. Her hand going up ready to strike whoever it was, was suddenly held back by a grip that felt familiar. opening her eyes she was met with the stare of a crystal blue stare that shown a mixture between childlike innocence and a new spark of adult that she'd only seen the beginning of. The male figure in front of her froze her and she felt her heart slowly climb up and situate its self in her throat.

"What are you doing here"

His voice had just that hint of childish antics behind it, a sound that she'd missed since she left.


	6. Chapter 6

_ "Is it acceptable to not want to do anything else besides lay upstairs in bed with you isn't it?" _

_ Having to turn down the sight in front of him killed him. There she stood in short shorts and a bikini top, her hand in back of her without a doubt slowly pulling the strings to torture him and get him to carry her up to the bed in the air conditioning. Prom had been two weeks ago, they'd started to renovate Connie's old house a week ago. Everything had been busy since they'd woken up in the backyard after prom in one another's arms their time together was only when they could sneak it something that they'd hardly even had to do during the year. But with Cheerios looking for next year's members and him being involved for some reason or other with arraigning things for Finn with glee club alone private time was sparse. Part of her was counting down the days till they were alone together in California. Without the insanity that surrounded them now. _

_ "Santana… I can't do that right now"_

_ Grabbing her hands before she could pull the strings in back of her she gave him a strange look just as he'd been expecting. How was he supposed to explain to her what was going on without experiencing her rage, he'd already come to the conclusion that she was going to kill him. There wasn't anything that he could do to prevent it either. With what was going on in the backyard he was just done for. He didn't even know how to explain to her how it'd happen. _

_ "What's going on Puck?" _

_ She pushed past him into the house and looked around. Lucky for him she didn't seem to notice the bag or the flip flops beside the chocolate couch. Instead she leaned up on tip toes and pressed a kiss to his lips, her hands once again attempting to untie her bathing suit top. It was hard enough for him to look at the white material without acting on all of the images that were running through his head. He put his hands on either side of his face and shook his head. his words were still a jumble over the whole thing in his head. _

_ "This wasn't my idea Tink, she just showed up here with her and… what was I supposed to say? I mean… she looks just like me San, I mean… she looks exactly like my baby pictures."_

_ Knowing that he didn't even have to say the little girl's name to see her shake scared him a little bit. He knew she was going to try to run away. Every inch of her body was locked as he stood there with her face between his hands. There was fear in her eyes, the same fear that he hadn't seen since the night he'd told her that he'd been the one to knock up Quinn. Like she thought that he was going to leave her for the blonde mistake and his daughter. It wasn't like that, it wasn't even close to like that and she should have known it. But of course because of his stupid sophomore year actions she had deep sincerities that were still too deep to expunge with an 'I'm sorry'. _

_ "She's here… and she brought… you let her in?"_

_ He sighed and leaned his head against hers even if she was suddenly completely stiff and not complying. he couldn't blame her, she'd told him to chose once before and he had. This was all an unexpected turn of events and he couldn't very well have just shut the door and said he wasn't remotely curious to know who she was. He had had a little to do with bringing her into the world to begin with of course. _

_ "She's potty training or whatever, Santana, I couldn't just shut the door on her. regardless or not she's still my… I still…"_

_ Things weren't changing any, he wasn't fixing his own issues. Instead he was just making them that much worse to begin with. Sometimes they both wished he had a mute button, it would have saved him many cold showers and sleepless nights. He let her pull away from him then, her arms immediately crossed as she headed for the door again, the ties on the back of her bathing suit top now double knotted tightly. The mood she'd had when she'd first got to the house was suddenly completely broken and destroyed. _

_ "Are you really going to be that stupid? She was looking for you Puck… How else would she just stumble across the fact that you were at Connie's house? She deliberately found you so that she could rub Beth in your face. How do you not see that? She knows that Beth is the one vice that she has over you."_

_ He knew that nothing he could say would or could calm her down and make her not want to kill him. He'd told her one thing six months ago and he'd broken it now. The one thing he knew was that he couldn't let her leave the house or he'd never hear the end of the whole thing. What neither one of them had heard was the back glass door sliding open or the quiet whispery steps of the blonde that either one of them actually appreciated or needed to be there. They didn't even have to turn around to know that there was a fake friendly smile on her face in fake greeting. Puck should have known before what she'd been looking for and what she'd been getting at. It was now as he watched back and forth between the blonde and the Latina that he knew he'd made a few mistakes. _

_ "Nice to see you Santana… didn't know that you were stopping by."_

_ With his grip tightening a little more around her wrist he'd been right to hold onto her. He could feel every surge of angry energy that went through her and tempted to attack. The only thing going through his mind was keeping the two females from killing one another. He knew how prone they were to attacks on one another, it wasn't like it would have been the first time, but, there also wasn't a Schuester to pull the pair apart this time and he wasn't about to do it all on his own. _

_ "Puck was just about to come outside with me" _

_ Santana rather than firing her mouth back off at Quinn she pulled herself right back to Puck, her right hand, Nana Connie's ring showing on her finger on the side of his face as she kissed him to prove a point to the blonde who gave her the slightest of inferiority complexes. He didn't hesitate to kiss her back, her mouth was to wanting and demanding to deny. Besides, he still had flashes from her earlier demands dancing in his head. Had Quinn not cleared her throat he might have picked her up just to lay her down on a flat surface. _

_ "Pretend whatever you want Santana…"_

_ Silence prevailed as she pulled away from kissing him yet still stayed close, her hands slipping into his back pockets as if she were showing ownership. Oddly enough it wasn't something he complained about or minded, everything else just sort of fell to the side about the whole thing. _

_ "speaking of it… where Beth anyway?"  
__Instead the getting the 'sleeping' rebuttal that she expected she watched Puck glance around Quinn for a moment before letting his arms fall from __the hold he'd had on her and he sprinted as fast as he could out the glass door to the backyard leaving the girls to stare at one another for a moment.  
_

* * *

"This is where you've been Nala? You've been working like …this? Why didn't you just call? Why haven't you called? Didn't our friendship mean anything to you? How could you just up and leave me like that? Any of us, you leaving Nala… you leaving screwed up a lot of people."

Silently she listened to him throw questions out as her mind flashed back through everything she'd done five years ago, through everything she'd missed and everything that she'd run away from. His leather jacket was around her shoulders as the cool air blew the dark night around. She wasn't sure exactly what to say to him. She knew pretty well that nothing would make it any better. She'd run out on the little brother figure that she'd worked so hard to take care of after their afternoon together. The boy who'd opened up her eyed and told her to go after the things she wanted most. That was one of the things she regretted doing, she regretted hurting him the way she had.

"I know Sammy. I know now that I shouldn't have just left like that but, her words… his pain… I couldn't handle all of that at the time. I didn't know how to make it better for him. You… if I hadn't gone there things would have been differently. Nothing that happened that day, none of that should have happened."  
When he turned to her on the busy and brightly lit street she stopped walking to face him and lecture him for not continuing to walk, there were people all around rushing here and there. Before she could get a word out of her mouth the blonde had pulled her into his arms, wrapping her into the hug she'd so much missed through the years. Santana stopped talking then. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder taking in the hug and the moments that she'd so much missed through the years. He held onto her tighter just like he had so many times, the mirrored hug he'd given her the night she'd run away from Lima. The night he'd stayed with her and watched two of the closest people to them kneel down over the wooden box to place down the pink flowers.

"You know that none of this was your fault Nala. She's the one who'd said she'd babysit, she's the one that should have been watching her. You know as well as I do that he didn't blame you for what happened. If he said anything or did anything he was acting out of anger."

Pulling back from him she felt his eyes look her over, a familiar smile on his childish face as he reached forward and picked up the ring hanging around her neck on the silver chain. She could still hear the memory of the moment in her ears. She could remember telling him the morning after it'd been given to her. She could still feel the smile spread over her own face at the memory of it all, as the thoughts of what that day had really been like started to cluster in her mind her smile changed into a smirk and for a brief moment she could feel Puck's eyes bearing into hers as he moved in top of her, herself surrendering her own stubborn attitude as he changed their relationship completely.

"Nalah's in Puck-land. Should I go find a cold water bottle now?"

His childish smile was back in a matter of seconds and their playful exchanges felt like they'd never been disrupted by years or distance. Pulling back from him she playfully hit his shoulder before falling back into walking right beside him a laugh sounded in her ears as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head.

"You know… he'll appreciate the getup of the job I'm sure."

Her head shook and she rolled her eyes pulling his jacket up over her shoulders more as they walked through the chilly November breezes. It was nice to be back with someone who knew her, knew the real her. It'd been a while since she felt the nearly safe security as she did with Sam.

"I don't know, that depends… has he married her yet?"  
The look on his face suddenly turned incredulous and confused as he looked down at her for a second trying to figure out how she knew things that hadn't happened for years after she'd up and left Lima. She didn't know exactly what to say to him. She knew more so than that that she was going to have to show him her secrets.

"Hey samba… you're an uncle."


End file.
